Let’s face it: even the happiest marriages sometimes hit a lull. Between work deadlines, kids’ soccer practice, and the occasional Netflix overload, it’s easy to feel like your marriage has gone from fireworks to flickering embers. But here’s the good news: reigniting that spark doesn’t have to be hard, and it certainly doesn’t require grand romantic gestures (although a surprise vacation wouldn’t hurt).
If you’re looking for a way to rekindle romance in your marriage the Buddhist way—rooted in mindfulness, kindness, and a big dash of joy—you’re in the right place. Let’s explore some lighthearted yet profound tips to help you and your partner reconnect on a whole new level.
1. Pause to Appreciate the Present Moment (Yes, Even in Sweatpants)
One of the beautiful teachings of Buddhism is mindfulness—being present here and now. And let’s be honest, in marriage, we often forget to be mindful with each other. We focus on what our partner didn’t do (“You left the cap off the toothpaste again!”) instead of what they bring to our lives.
Take a moment, maybe right now, to look at your partner. Notice the little things: their smile, the way they hum while washing dishes, or their goofy dance moves that only you get to see. Express your appreciation with a simple, heartfelt “Thank you” or “I love how you always make me laugh.”
2. Laugh Together Like It’s Your First Date
Remember when you used to laugh at everything together? From silly inside jokes to overused puns? Laughter is a powerful connector. As Buddha said (well, probably), “A couple that laughs together, stays together.”
Try something fun and unexpected, like a comedy night at home or even attempting yoga together (falling over is half the fun). Laughter releases feel-good chemicals, and it’s a fantastic way to break through any awkwardness if things have felt distant lately.
3. Practice Loving-Kindness (Metta) Daily
One cornerstone of Buddhist practice is Metta, or loving-kindness. It’s about sending love and positive energy to others—and guess what? Your partner should be at the top of your list!
Every day, take a quiet moment to focus on your partner. Think:
- “May they be happy.”
- “May they feel loved.”
- “May they experience joy today.”
You can even share this practice with them. Sit together for a few minutes, holding hands, and silently send good wishes to each other. (Bonus: it’s a lot less awkward than arguing about who left the laundry in the washer too long!)
4. Do Small Acts of Service
Big romantic gestures are great, but small acts of kindness? They’re the real game-changers. Buddhism teaches us the power of selfless giving, and in marriage, this can be as simple as brewing your partner’s favorite tea without being asked.
Think about what makes them smile—whether it’s a sticky note on the fridge that says “You’re awesome” or surprising them with their favorite snack. These little moments of thoughtfulness can build up to something truly beautiful.
5. Take a “Digital Detox Date”
Let’s be real: the number of hours we spend scrolling our phones can sometimes outnumber the hours we spend genuinely connecting. A great way to rekindle romance is to have a no-phones-allowed evening.
Light a candle, put on some soft music, and talk. Ask deep, open-ended questions like:
- “What’s a dream you’ve been thinking about lately?”
- “What’s one thing you’re really grateful for in our life together?”
Giving each other undivided attention is one of the simplest (and most powerful) ways to show love.
6. Embrace Playfulness and Spontaneity
Do you remember how fun it was to be silly together when you first fell in love? It’s time to bring that energy back! Playfulness is one of the easiest ways to rekindle a sense of connection.
Surprise them with a goofy dance-off, start a pillow fight, or play a game of “Would You Rather” (with hilariously outrageous options). Play reminds us not to take life—or marriage—too seriously.
7. Revisit Shared Values
In Buddhism, values like compassion, patience, and gratitude are central to a happy life. Reflecting on your shared values as a couple can help you realign and deepen your bond.
Sit down together and talk about what matters most to you. Maybe it’s kindness, adventure, or creating a peaceful home. Reaffirming your shared goals can be a powerful reminder of why you fell in love in the first place.
Love Is a Practice
Romance isn’t something that magically sticks around; it’s something we nurture daily, like a garden. But the beauty is, it doesn’t have to feel like work—it can be joyful, lighthearted, and even downright fun.
As Buddha might say (if he had a marriage advice column), “Love grows when we water it with kindness, mindfulness, and laughter.”
So, whether you’re cuddling on the couch, meditating together, or sharing a spontaneous giggle, remember this: rekindling the romance is all about showing up for each other, over and over again, with an open heart and a playful spirit.
Now go surprise your partner with a smile, a hug, or maybe a little dance. They’ll love it—and so will you.