Kids Taking Over? Here’s How to Reclaim Your Marriage!

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance your life looks a bit like this: kids’ toys scattered across the floor, the sound of Peppa Pig blaring in the background, and a calendar so packed with soccer games, school events, and playdates that you wonder if you should get a personal assistant, just for your kids.

Somewhere in the middle of all this chaos, you realize that the person sitting across the dining table (when you both manage to sit at the same time) isn’t just your co-parent. They’re your partner. Your love. And yet, it feels like your marriage has taken a backseat to sippy cups and bedtime routines. Fear not! Let’s tap into a Buddhist-inspired approach to reclaiming your marriage without neglecting your parenting duties. Yes, enlightenment and romance can coexist. Let’s dive in.

1. Start with Presence: Be Where You Are

One of the core teachings in Buddhism is mindfulness, being fully present in the moment. Easier said than done when you’re folding laundry while simultaneously helping with homework and keeping an ear out for the baby monitor, right?

Here’s the deal: mindfulness doesn’t mean ignoring the chaos; it means fully immersing yourself in it, then carving out moments of presence with your partner. Start small. Put the phones down during dinner. Look into each other’s eyes and ask a real question: “How are you, really?” Be present, even if it’s just for ten minutes.

2. Rediscover Joy Through “Play”

Buddhism celebrates simplicity and joy, and who better to remind us of pure, unfiltered joy than kids? Take inspiration from their ability to find happiness in bubbles or cardboard boxes, and redirect some of that energy into your marriage.

Plan playful activities together as a couple. It could be something goofy, like a TikTok dance challenge (yes, even if you’re terrible at it) or a board game night after the kids are asleep. Remember, laughing together strengthens your bond and lightens the emotional load.

3. Embrace the Art of Letting Go

Your house doesn’t need to look Instagram-perfect. Your kids don’t need to attend every extracurricular activity under the sun. Buddhism teaches us the power of “letting go”, of attachments, expectations, and control.

Letting go doesn’t mean slacking off; it means prioritizing what truly matters. Sometimes, that means skipping the PTA meeting to spend time watching a silly rom-com with your spouse. It’s okay to let go of “perfect parent” pressure to nurture your marriage.

4. Create a Sacred Couple’s Space

In Buddhism, sacred spaces are important. Why not create one in your own home for your relationship? It doesn’t need to be elaborate, maybe it’s the corner of your bedroom where you light a candle, sit, and talk for 15 minutes before bed. Or perhaps it’s your front porch, where you sip tea and enjoy the sunrise together.

This dedicated space reminds you both that your relationship is a priority. And no, kids aren’t invited. It’s your “zone” to reconnect.

5. Meditate Together (Even If It’s Brief)

Meditation doesn’t require an hour of chanting or a mountaintop retreat (although that does sound dreamy). A simple five-minute breathing session with your partner can do wonders.

Sit back-to-back on the floor, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. As you inhale and exhale, you’re reminded of your shared rhythm and connection. It’s calming, grounding, and a beautiful way to bond.

6. Date Night: Reimagined

Buddhist teachings emphasize balance, and that includes balancing parenting with couple time. Traditional date nights might be hard to swing (hello, babysitter shortage!), but who says you can’t get creative?

Have an at-home picnic after the kids are in bed. Order takeout, light candles, and pretend you’re at a fancy restaurant. Or, binge-watch that show you’ve been meaning to catch up on while sharing a tub of ice cream. It’s not about what you do; it’s about doing it together.

7. Practice Gratitude, Daily

Gratitude is a cornerstone of Buddhist living. Instead of focusing on what your partner isn’t doing, celebrate what they aredoing. Did they make you coffee this morning? Fold the laundry? Handle bedtime when you were exhausted? Say thank you.

Better yet, start a gratitude journal together. Every evening, write down one thing you’re grateful for about your partner. Over time, these small moments add up, creating a sense of deep appreciation and connection.

8. Teach Your Kids About Love

One of the best gifts you can give your children is a healthy, loving example of marriage. Show them what respect, kindness, and affection look like. Hug your partner in front of the kids. Laugh together. Let them see you apologize and make up after disagreements.

By modeling a loving relationship, you’re not only strengthening your marriage but also teaching your kids valuable lessons about love and partnership.

9. Don’t Forget the Power of Touch

Life gets busy, and sometimes even small gestures of affection fall by the wayside. But touch is powerful. Hold hands while watching TV. Give each other a quick backrub. A simple hug can release oxytocin (a.k.a. the “love hormone”) and strengthen your connection.

The Takeaway

Parenting is one of life’s greatest joys, but it doesn’t mean your marriage should take a backseat. By embracing mindfulness, letting go of perfection, and prioritizing moments of connection, you can create a marriage that thrives alongside the craziness of raising kids.

Remember, a happy marriage doesn’t just benefit you, it creates a loving, stable foundation for your entire family. So, light that candle, pour that tea, and reconnect with your partner. Your marriage deserves it.