Alright, girl. Let’s talk. You ever feel like life is just… heavy? Like you’re carrying around a suitcase full of bricks, but instead of checking that emotional baggage at the door, you’re dragging it around everywhere? Yeah, same.
Pain is sneaky like that. It clings to you, whispers in your ear at 2 AM, and convinces you that replaying that cringey moment from 2016 is a great use of your mental energy. But guess what? That pain is ruining your life. And if you don’t deal with it, it’s going to keep you stuck.
So let’s cut to the chase: here are four telltale signs you’re holding onto pain, plus what to do about it before it turns you into a walking, talking storm cloud.
1. You Rewatch Your Personal Trauma Like It’s Your Favorite Netflix Show
You know that thing that happened forever ago? That thing, whether it was a heartbreak, betrayal, or that one time you tripped in front of your crush? You keep replaying it in your head like it’s the season finale of your life.
The Reality Check:
Your brain thinks it’s helping by reminding you of past pain (survival instincts and all), but in reality, it’s just keeping you miserable. It’s like picking at a scab, how’s the wound supposed to heal if you keep ripping it open?
What to Do:
Every time you start mentally spiraling, literally say STOP out loud. Sounds ridiculous, but it works. Then, shift focus. Do something distracting: blast a song, do a ridiculous dance move, text your bestie a meme. Your brain needs new programming, and you’re the only one who can change the channel.
2. You Expect Everyone to Let You Down (Because Someone Did Before)
Did someone betray you once? Maybe an ex, a friend, a family member? And now, every time someone gets too close, you just assume they’re going to stab you in the back with a metaphorical (or real) knife?
The Reality Check:
You’re punishing new people for someone else’s mistakes. Not everyone is out to hurt you, and expecting the worst only builds walls that keep you trapped.
What to Do:
Remind yourself: “That was them, not everyone.” If you keep expecting people to fail you, you’ll never give anyone a real chance. Be cautious, sure, but don’t shut out good people because of bad ones.
3. You Use “I’m Fine” Like a Shield (When You’re Absolutely NOT Fine)
Ah, the classic. Someone asks, “Are you okay?” and you hit ’em with the most unconvincing “I’m fine” of all time. You’d rather swallow your emotions whole than let anyone see you gasp vulnerable.
The Reality Check:
Holding in emotions doesn’t make you strong. It makes you a ticking time bomb. And guess what? That explosion? It’s coming, whether you like it or not. (Spoiler alert: crying in the car at a red light isn’t the move.)
What to Do:
Talk to someone. A friend, a journal, a therapist, or even your dog (they’re great listeners). Releasing emotions doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.
4. You’re More Comfortable in Your Sadness Than in Your Happiness
You ever notice that when things start going well, you get… uncomfortable? Like, instead of enjoying the moment, you start anxiously waiting for something to go wrong?
The Reality Check:
You’ve gotten so used to pain that peace feels weird. But you deserve happiness. And if you keep sabotaging it, you’ll never get the life you truly want.
What to Do:
When good things happen, sit in it. Literally say, “I deserve this.” Accept that joy isn’t a trick, it’s real. And it’s yours to keep.
The Final Word
Listen, life’s too short to be your own worst enemy. Pain is real, but so is healing. And you? You’re way too amazing to stay stuck.
So take a deep breath, acknowledge what’s weighing you down, and then? Drop it like a bad habit (or a toxic ex). You’ve got this, girl.
